The spider that wouldnt die.

 
It all began 3 days ago.
 
At first it was above the doorway to the kitchen.  I figured this was a non-threatening place for it to be so I left it alone and hoped it would dissapear.  Sure enough, I checked a little while later and it was gone.  A quick scan of the apartment followed and after not finding it I had convinced myself it never existed.
 
Then the next day it re-surfaced on the ceiling in my livingroom.  This caused me a little anxiety – my super doesnt like me calling him to kill spiders and after the last time I dont think he’ll ever believe me that it was the size of a cat.  So I walked away and sure enough it dissapeared once again.  That night however, I tore everything off my bed just to make sure it was a figment of my imagination.
 
But then… yesterday it came back.  And it was in my bedroom.
 
Keeping one eye on the spider (which looked enormous in the shadows) I slowly reached out to flip the overhead light on.  Forgetting that I hadnt actually put the switch plate covers on yet I ended up caressing the bare wires and electrocuting myself.  Feeling the buzz and freaking out about the spider I ran into the livingroom and grabbed my broom.  I dashed right back into the bedroom but the spider was GONE!
 
Now I was mad.  With my fingers tingling, pulse racing and eyes bugging out I sat with my broom and waited.  And waited.  And then waited some more.
 
At some point, I mentally re-decorated my bedroom and composed this blog in my head.  While wondering how it would all end I spotted the demon spider racing across the far wall.  With a really loud ninja cry I launched myself threw the air and wacked that spider with my broom.  It didnt stand a chance.
 
Thats right – I am a lean mean spider killing machine! 
 
 
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2 comments

  1. Way to go Berni.  Thanks for not having to call me over this time to tear everything out of your closet and hunt down the spider before finally getting rid of it.  I’m glad to hear that you have mastered the broom and are able to defend yourself against all things eight-legged (have fun in the ocean with your broom).  What a second, Berni, broom, black cauldron I helped you move.  Oh, no!  It’s true!  Run for your lives, people!  PLEASE DON’T PUT A HEX ON ME!  AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  <RIBBIT> <RIBBIT> <RIBBIT> <CROAK> http://www.joshtinley.com/dead_frog.jpg 😛

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