For some time now my neice Becky and I have had a pact. She would grow up and then she would move in with me because we dont need yucky boys and we would live in the country and have a farm, thus simplifying my complicated life.
Then Becky turned from the innocent age of 6 to the incredibly bossy age of 7. Over the past few weeks I have been told that my nephew Noah would also live with us and that we will build our own barn. I was told we would have dogs, cats, chickens, cows and monster trucks. I was also told that we would have 8 hamsters.
These hamsters would live in special cages out in the barn because they smell. However, Becky now has a boyfriend – his name is Joseph. He is Beckys boyfriend because she loves his name, it happens to be her most favorite name in the whole world. Her old boyfriend (from last week) Richard is now mad because his name isnt Joseph. Becky will grow up to marry Joseph and Noah cant live with me because he needs to go with Becky.
Do you follow so far?
Because I will have no one to build the barn with me, I have to go out and get a husband. Since I’m getting married I will probably live in the city because thats what married people do.
When I asked about the hamsters, I was told that they will go with Becky, but because there is no barn she will only have 3, not 8.
At this point I realized that my life as it is isn’t so complicated after all.