Since January, life has been a whirlwind. The cake decorator at work up and quit without notice so I’ve been back in the bakery a few evenings a week, and I’m still homeschooling during the day. It hasn’t left a lot of room for crafting and selling, but now that spring has arrived, the days feel longer and I don’t feel like I’m packing so much into a little bit of day!
I love spring! My flowers are poking up out of the ground and in another month I’ll be baking rhubarb pies from our garden. I’ve begun running at 6am with my friend Patti (she’s an amazing trainer!) and the bicycles have come out of the shed. Even the rabbit is happy, because he gets to live out in his bunny barn again, and I get my basement back. I love that bunny like crazy, but he takes over my basement every winter and he acts like I’m the one that took his summer away.
Try as I may to enjoy winter, this winter was especially cold, felt especially long, and it also brought about a bit of a life change for me. The rest of this blog may be a bit uncomfortable for some, so be forewarned.
Back in February I developed some strange stabbing pains in the left side of my chest. Nothing really important, but nagging. They continued for 2 weeks before they began waking me up during the night, so I decided to visit our family doctor.
After a quick examination, he informed me that he was referring me to the Breast Care Center at St. Josephs hospital. Huh? For chest pain? Not what I expected, but I rolled with it.
I still rolled with it when the appointment came a week later and had my first of many mammograms. Thankfully, they told me in that appointment that there was nothing they could see and I was to follow up with my family doctor again. We celebrated with latte’s.
Then the call came a few days later, they made a mistake. A small mass was located in my left breast, they almost missed it but it was there. I returned to the hospital for another test. After that test, they made me wait while the doctor took a look at the results. They ordered another test for the same day and I had to wait, but still no one was telling me anything.
Finally, after more testing, I met with the specialist. She explained to me that they can usually tell from the imaging what they are looking at, and they are rated. 1, 2, and 3 are nothing – minor calcifications that cause no harm. Numbers 5 and 6 – those numbers tell them “yes”, that is most definitely cancer and we need to plan a course of action. Number 4 is a grey area, maybe it’s cancer, maybe it’s nothing… but whatever it is, you can’t leave it alone. I am classified as a 4c.
So here’s where I’m at. They would normally send me home and have me come back in 6 months so they can check again, but they are concerned because this “spot” they are seeing is located within a duct. Cancer begins in the ducts of the breast. So you see, they don’t want to leave it for 6 months, but it’s so small they can’t say one way or another what they think it is. Given the nature of my tissue though, and my family history, I have now been classified as a high risk and will need to return yearly for mammograms and ultrasounds until I am 69.
Tomorrow I will at the hospital and have to have a titanium marker implanted (morning) and then they will be doing a biopsy (afternoon). I will need to keep the marker for life, but I am assured that it will cause me no problems, ever. Not even at the airport ;).
My mood has been good through all of this. I know that God has a plan for me, and I’m not one to give in to drama. I have so many amazing friends and family members, not to mention an incredible husband and daughter, and they have all been incredibly supportive and uplifting through all of this, and honestly I’m still hoping it comes back negative!
I think what I’m trying to say, is that I’m going through this thing, and I knew that eventually I would have to just get it over with and talk about it, but at the end of the day I feel okay, because we just serve such an amazing God, that we don’t have to worry about the things we can’t see. Cancer or no cancer, I know He’s got this. I am far better suited to worrying about what method of feeding I want to use for my roses this spring, and watching the weather report so I can throw down my grass seed at the perfect time ;).
And now that I’ve gotten all of that out of my system, I can go back to blogging about art, food and loving life <3.